Bring it on, Irene

Hurricane Irene - the beast of a storm that has been working its way up the East coast this weekend.  The news coverage, warnings, and overall anticipation have been insane, and honestly, it's cramping my style.

This is the weekend that I NEEDED to be going out, having fun, pretending that post-grad life is everything it's cracked up to be.  Instead, we are all stuck indoors.  And let me tell you, staying busy and distracted while your only company is two mildly hurricane-paranoid parents and a neurotic dog is a bit of a challenge.

Why do I need to keep busy, you might ask?  Because the school year has resumed again.  Everyone is back at college and the new pictures being uploaded on Facebook make it look oh-so-good. With red plastic cups in hand, the fresh summer tans and giant smiles plastered across semi-sloppy faces scream "look at my awesome care-free life in college!"

Cue the depression and nostalgia.

Like Hurricane Irene, the first few weeks of college create the perfect storm, but in a different way... the hot mess of naive Freshman girls and the excitement of returning upper-classmen build up the potential for chaos around campus.  You always need to prepare for disaster - For Irene, you stock up on batteries, food, water, etc.  For college, ibuprofen for hangovers and Easy-Mac for all-nighters are essential to survive the 4 years.

Yet, the anticipation and excitement soon wear off.  Irene didn't do nearly as much damage as expected and honestly, college life is also soon brought back to reality.  Eventually, the summer tans fade to the normal pale/translucent color, the greasy campus food quickly brings back 15 pounds of "winter insulation" that you worked so hard to lose over the summer, and the library becomes the center of social interaction.

If anything, it is after the storm which is the best part, and the preparation for it helps us survive the potential damage.  Sure, being a college Freshman was a great mess-of-a-time, but think about it... we are now Freshman of an ENTIRE CITY.  This can best be described by this hilarious post:

"Graduated betches are about to make a mass exodus from all sorts of states to major cities where it’s no longer creepy to interact with a 'local.' You’re opened up to a whole world full of new clubs, new bars and best of all, new people who haven’t seen your rotation of outfits a million times. Say goodbye to the days of extending obligatory #23 pregame invites to those #38 frenemies who lived around the corner."

Ain't that the truth.  We get to choose our friends, our careers, our futures, everything.

So bring it on Irene, or real life, or whatever comes next... I'm prepared and not afraid of you.

                                                                                          Huzzah!
                                                                                                   BB

Don't Blame it on Mister Rogers!

I mean really, how could you get mad at a face like that?  That cheerful red sweater and bright smile? Impossible.

Our generation doesn't seem to have the best image - I've heard us dubbed everything from "The Millennials" to the not so nice phrase of "Entitlement Generation" - And apparently it is all Mr. Rogers' fault!

The general idea seems to be that growing up in the 90s exposed us to TV shows, new parenting methods, and an overall change in society that promoted unconditional love and support.  How can this possibly be detrimental?  Well, like anything, too much of a good thing can be bad... 

Just ask a Tiger Mom.

This huge amount of complete support means that too many people were telling us we were "special" or "unique" when we were children.  Resulting in what, you might ask?  The expectation that our lives would be wonderful and picture-perfect without having to work for it.  Some common adjectives used to describe us include: lazy, entitled, self-involved, etc.

I'm not really sure how much this is actually true... I certainly know some very hard-working and motivated young people.  I guess it depends on how you were raised.  While I by no means had a "Tiger Mom" for a parent, I did have parents who expected me to always try my best.  This expectation that I would have to give 100% was also there with unconditional love.

Even when I came home with a 64% on an OPEN BOOK English exam!

It was 7th grade, my 12 year old mind clearly was not fully developed.  Haha good news is that while I cried (from completely horror and shock that I could possibly do so poorly), my mom was able to laugh at the situation and brush it off.  I mean, if it was an open-book exam, there is no way that I didn't try... what a struggle.

What I do know is that I think our expectations of post-grad life are very skewed.

Many of my friends have graduated with the expectation that post-graduation they would get their dream-job almost instantaneously, move into a great apartment in a city, and be fully satisfied with their future prospects.

Reality has since ensued.

More likely than not, your first job will be decent or mediocre, or even terrible.  But, it's a job and it will get you in the door for bigger and brighter opportunities.  Luckily I was prepared for this reality.  My parents had constantly warned me: "Your first job post-grad won't be a glamorous one."  And you know what? I'm completely okay with that!  A job is a job, and it can't hurt to gain new experience, build connections, and see what opportunities are really out there.

While I'm able to view this positively, many other grads out there are not so lucky.  Thus, the "Quarter-Life Crisis" has emerged.  Our generation is more depressed, unsatisfied, and insecure than ever before.  The idea that our lives should be 100% complete and stable by our mid-twenties is unrealistic - at best.  Yet, this is what many educated twenty and thirtysomethings are expecting.

The result is an enormous amount of pressure.  What I suggest is to stop, relax, and take a deep breath.  There really shouldn't be such expectation, we haven't earned our success yet.  All we can do now is just find what opportunities are out there and see what happens.  Dealing with an uncertain and unplanned future is scary, sure.  But we are young, let's enjoy it!

And have no fear, if you're having a particularly rough day and need some serious cheering-up, then maybe put on a re-run episode of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood... and sing-a-long:

"It's such a good feeling to know you're alive

It's such a happy feeling, you're growing inside

And when you wake up, ready to say:

'I think I'll make a snappy new day'"

                                                                     Always Optimistic,
                                                                                               BB

The Reality of Dating

'Tis the season for The Bachelorette. You know, the "reality" dating show where one woman dates 25 guys to find her one and only prince charming.  And last night, was the grand finale!  It came down to two guys: JP and Ben.  Personally, I was rooting for JP, but both were great guys who were attractive, smart, genuine, sensitive, etc.

Now, if only real life could be like this...

Post-grad, I'd think that it would open a whole new world of dating possibilities.  Mature young men, who have careers, responsibilities, and education.  There should be a plethora of eligible bachelors, right?

Yet... this doesn't seem to be the case.  So, where does one find them?

1. Bars/Clubs: Naive me, thought that going out into the city to mingle with guys in their mid-twenties would mean that they were suitable to date... I soon discovered that most are simply over-grown frat boys.
2. Friends-of-Friends: This could work well... if my friends lived any where near me.  Buttt, we've all dispersed across the country.  New friends might be needed...
   
3. Luck and Happenstance: You always hear the cute stories of how couples met in line at the super market, or in a bookstore, etc.  But let's get real here - most likely not gonna happen.

So, what's a girl to do?

A more and more common solution: Online dating.  Oh yes, desperate times call for desperate measures!  In all reality, something like 20-30% of all relationships start online.  So why not?

There are surprisingly a huge number of sites, all different and customized to a different niche:

Want to find your "bashert" (preferably doctor or lawyer)? - Try J-Date

Can't wait to share your Sunday pew with someone other than Jesus? - Check out Christian Mingles

And then of course there is Match.com, OKCupid, Plenty of Fish, EHarmony etc.  They all serve the same purpose: to find someone you truly want to date and have a connection with.  Easier said than done, but all dating is difficult and time consuming.  I can actually vouch for the fact that several of my friends have found their serious boyfriends from these sites, so they must be good for something.

Honestly, all these changes and transitioning into the real world are a bit exhausting and time consuming.  Who needs the additional stress of dealing with men?!  Online dating is a great solution to just have fun - go on some easy, non-committal dates, and see what happens.

Or if all else fails, plan B - sign up to be a contestant on next season's The Bachelor/Bachelorette

                                                                     XOXOXO
                                                                                   BB