Visiting home is always nice - you sleep in your own room, get home cooked meals, see old friends. Even going downtown in the suburbs can be - dare I say it - fun. You can hang out at your local independent bookstore, and grab a meal at your favorite Chinese restaurant (where you've never been able to find a better crab Rangoon).
But this "fun" only lasts for a visit, not an indefinite stay... It wears off quickly. I've started to realize that I'm stuck in a very small pond.
It wouldn't be so bad if I could get into the city easily, but the public transportation is beyond terrible! I have to really plan in advance if I want to go out to a bar or club in the city - I have to coordinate with my other post-grad "boomerang" friends, figure out where I'll crash for the night, and make the journey into the city via train or bus or subway (or some combination of all 3). So on nights when I don't feel like going through all this effort, I basically have two options: 1. Stay at home with my parents
Or
2. Hangout downtown in the suburbs
Just what every 22-year old wants to do.
I'm genuinely worried that I'm becoming a Townie... You know, those local people who bum around in their home town forever, doing nothing with their lives. At least I acknowledge that I have a problem. The first step to recovery is always admitting the reality of our situation, right?
An apartment would be the best solution! A cute brownstone right in the city, a bakery downstairs and a shoe store across the street... Ahh, but the small problem of having no moolah arises again... even more motivation for finding a job. What dreams I have!
I feel like before this happens, it's more likely that I just get a bigger fish bowl.
For some people, the fourth of July represents a momentous day in history when we finally gained independence as a nation. One of our most important Patriots to acknowledge from the American Revolution, Paul Revere, can be eloquently described by Sarah Palin's "definition":
"He who warned them British that they weren't gonna be takin' away our arms, by ringing those bells, and makin' sure as he's riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed."
I couldn't have described it better myself! (I hope you note the sarcasm...)
For me however, I have a special place in my heart for the July 4th weekend, that doesn't really relate to the historical significance. While I appreciate Paul Revere ringing his bell and warning those British (and I'll be sure to drink a beer this bbq weekend on his behalf), I'm mostly excited for the SUMMERSALES!!!
Before this weekend, I have had to sadly stare at all the beautiful new summer styles behind glass doors. As a boomerang baccalaureate, window shopping has become a pastime. And I'm damn good at it!
While not having money for the finer things in life can definitely build character... I would love to actually be able to purchase the items I longingly stare at. Cute shorts, ruffly tops, adorable, jeweled sandals – the list goes on and on. The tags showing 40% off are calling my name. And did I mention the sun dresses in all the delicious summer colors? It's almost too much to bear!
Window shopping used to be fun – when I had an income and money in my pocket. It was a leisurely activity rather than a necessity... since I can't afford anything. Such a struggle. I have never been unemployed before, so this is taking some getting used to.
And now, as I look through catalogs, browse the web, and anticipate the sales... I REALLY need to go shopping.
Let me get control of myself.... I just have to remind myself to be patient. I will get a job (right?). I will have an income. I will be mature. And now that I am a "grown-up", I will just maintain an ounce of self-control and purchase those frivolous clothes – later. Much, much, later. I just have to remind myself that I don't truly need anything...
Except those new gladiator sandals from Steve Madden are calling my name...
Hmmm, new game plan: I can convince my mother to take pity on me. I just need to take her window shopping…
I think that the single most common question I get every day from people is some variation of: "what are your plans post-graduation?"
Already prepared with a fake smile and enthusiastic tone, I can quickly reply: "I'm still looking...!"
The thing is, I genuinely want a job - I truly love working and being productive. I am motivated, hard-working, and ready to work my way up the business ladder! I'm excited at the idea of having an income, getting my own apartment, and being able to buy myself nice things. As long as I can afford a cute pair of shoes every once in a while, I'm all set.
The only problem is, how do I start job hunting?
It is a very overwhelming process, and my university career center was no help whatsoever. In all honesty, it was mediocre - at best. To give you a general idea of the career center, I will highlight a couple of my experiences there, which definitely are representative.
Interviews - the second stage to getting a job. Yet, my university's idea of interview assistance is to simply give you a sheet entitled: "Top 10 Most Common Interview Questions." Oh yes, I do not joke. I wouldn't be surprised if they simply printed this out from Google.
There are no resources for job listings - they tell you to just search on Google. If they do (for some shocking reason) provide you with a job posting, you better make sure it is up-to-date. My friend received a job listing from the career center, and not only was the job posting 5 years old and expired, but the contact hadn't been working at the company for over 3 years. The list of inadequacies could go on and on.
This all results in a very unprepared and panicked college grad.
I don't mean to sit here and point blame. Obviously it is ultimately my responsibility to find a job... it would just be nice to have some sort of guidance!
So for now, I remain job-less. But I am still plugging away, excited and determined to find my first full-time job! On my own, I have discovered great job resources such as LinkedIn or Monster Jobs. These are really great sites to help connect to other professionals, build your resume, and get tips/ideas for job searching.
Honestly, I am not too worried, I have a feeling that it will all work out. I'm usually not one to believe in fate, but in this case, I think what is meant to be, will be.
And while you might call it unemployment, I think I'll take the more positive approach and look at it as a nice vacation. I mean, it is summer time, right? A nice cold beer and a Cosmo magazine will do the trick to help me forget these woes!
Sorority girls - an interesting and mysterious breed of young college women. I think they can best be summed up by one video:
And you know what, OMGBekah is not only hilarious, but she is spot-on! She hits the nail on the head, and I crack up every time I view this. Why do I find it so incredibly funny? Because I can relate - I can proudly admit that I am a sorority girl. And yes, I am using the present tense, because although I graduated, I don't think you can ever fully get rid of the "sorority girl" persona that has taken over your personality during the 4-year college period.
Beyond the like, totally, super, awesome, fetch so-rawr-ity sisterhood, clothes sharing, and buying of friends with daddy's money, there is a real benefit to the Greek community. I would even argue that OMGBekah missed one crucial aspect about sororities.
Reason #1: It helps you find a job
No really, it does.
In my sorority alone, there are over 150 collegiate campuses with more than 200,000 members - just think about the networking potential! Even if an employer wasn't in your sorority per se, when you go for a job interview and if they were in a Greek organization, there is almost always a sense of camaraderie.
When you look even further, there are some really interesting statistics:
All but two of the US Presidents since 1825 have been Greek
30% of US Congressmen/women are Greek
42% of US Senators are Greek
40% of all Supreme Court Justices have been Greek
30% of Fortune 500 Executives are Greek
And with all these numbers, Greeks only make up 2% of the US population. We really breed success don't we? #winning.
Besides the networking potential, sororities really do help prepare you for the real world. How, you might ask? As silly as it sounds, the answer lies in: Sorority Rush.
For those who might not know, sorority recruitment is that oh-so-fun time of year when you bring new girls into your chapter. It is like extreme speed-dating, on crack. Through a series of mini-parties, you meet and greet hundreds of girls, all of whom have the potential to join your sorority and become new sisters. Through the course of these parties, you are determining if the girls would be a good fit to become new sisters. At the same time, the girls are mutually judging to see if they themselves want to join your particular sorority.
I'll let you in on a little secret: the ultimate goal is to make every girl love your chapter and want to join. That way, you can pick the cream of the crop, and get exactly who you want. This is easier said than done.
To reach this goal, there is a lot of preparation. Every sister who talks to these potential new girls acts almost as a "brand ambassador." You are the face of your chapter and represent your entire sorority. So, you must be able to, in a way, sell yourself. How does one prepare? That's a secret I can't share, but I can tell you this: I have four years of training and experience to talk to anyone, about anything, for an indefinite amount of time. All the while, subtly selling myself.
Honestly, this is just like job searching. I know it must sound terribly manipulative, but it is no different from preparing yourself for a job interview!
A job interview isn't an interrogation, it is a conversation. Every conversation is different, and you need to prepare accordingly. In addition, an interview is almost always with a stranger - a stranger who represents a company, who needs to convince you that the potential job is a great fit. Like sorority recruitment, you are trying to determine whether you want to join this organization. At the same time, you also need to convince the interviewer that you are the best choice for the job - You sell yourself.
So scoff all you want at sorority girls. There are certainly valid reasons for poking fun! But do not be so quick to judge, it has definitely provided me with great life skills.
Orientation week - that period of time before college officially starts, when every 18 year-old Freshman student is grouped together, frolics around, and plays for a week on campus. Under the guidance of RAs (and possible influence of alcohol...), the ice is quickly broken and your social life is easily formed.
This type of setting is arguably the only time in your life in which you the have a nicely confined social bubble. Everyone is at the same point in their lives - roughly the same age and looking to make friends. Four years of your life are defined by these social interactions, and friendships are established. It is a very strange sort of community, dormitory life, because you are essentially living with your fellow students and friends. Unlike high school, there is no break. Whether you go home after class, grab a bite to eat, or relax and have fun, you are hanging out with your peers.
One of the (many) downsides of graduating college is restarting this social life. For the most part, my friends have spread across the country. Sure, some are nearby in other towns... but this is very different from being down the hall, a mere two doors away. It is surprisingly a lot of effort to keep in touch, and even when you meet up and have reunions, it is never quite the same feeling as how it was in college.
Wow, I sound like a sad, old, nostalgic person... But have no fear! My friends and I have done some brain storming and this is what we've decided is a (decent) solution: recreational clubs/organizations! Ok yes, you can judge us, but it is at least a proactive way to make new friends. Sure there's the typical way of socializing by going out to bars and clubs, but that doesn't have the best return rate for long-lasting and decent relationships... especially the guys you usually meet there.
With my helpful friend Google, we've discovered that these activity clubs are way more common than you'd think. And they have something for almost everyone with any interest. In Boston and love volleyball? They've got it. In NYC and looking for Salsa dance lessons? There are hundreds of options.
If you don't want to commit to one type of activity, then check out GroupOn and LivingSocial. These sites are my saviors! They are genius, really. Every day they have massive discounts (usually 50-90% off) for anything from restaurants to kickboxing lessons to yoga classes. Perfect for us poor, unemployed, college grads. It's a great way to meet a lot of people (since a certain number of people have to sign up for a deal, in order for it to be active) and trying out new things that you might enjoy. I think it's really important to be active and put yourself out there, so you don't go stir-crazy from living at home.
While life will never again be like the artificial world of college, it does have its upsides. The biggest one: choice. You don't have to be friends with people! You meet someone and don't particularly enjoy their company? You can choose to never. see. them. again. You don't enjoy a certain activity or club? You can quit the class with no repercussions. What a concept! While college was fantastic, it was also a bubble that was a bit confining, and eventually, it needed to burst.
So enjoy this new-found freedom, appreciate the friends you've made in the past, and be excited for the people who will be coming into your life in the future. These choices are all part of the post-grad, real life "orientation" - Enjoy the experience!
"My house - my rules" ... a very familiar phrase that I think we've all heard at least once from our parents.
While I completely respect my parents and understand that I'm going to have to "adjust" my routine... sometimes this phrase seems a bit excessive. What really astounds me, is that most of these rules don't affect my parents at all; they seem to come from their own paranoid/nervous parental fears regarding my safety, especially my father. Sure, I understand that fathers are more prone to be worried about their daughters... but mine is a bit too neurotic.
So there are several things that I am adamant about:
At 22, I refuse to have a curfew. Come on, that one's a bit ridiculous.
I refuse to explain in detail, every time I go out, who I'm with, where I'm going, leave phone number, etc., I'd be happy to provide basic info, but I won't provide a detailed itinerary.
And I refuse to sooth these parental fears, because at some point, they need to realize that I've grown up.
What did my parents do when I was in college? And had no rules! I suppose for parents it is out of sight, out of mind. I'm afraid that if this type of housing dictatorship continues, it will actually make me revert back to teenage years. What's next, my having to sneak out? That certainly won't help my case every time I come back with the retort that "I'm an adult!"
For now, I will just hold my ground, continue to be confident in my opinions (or stubborn as my father calls me), and hope that I will eventually wear down my parents' will and change their minds. I'm not going to place a bet that they will change their views any time soon (or ever), but I figure it's worth a shot. Until I finally move out and get my own place, I have the feeling that this might be a verrry long and exhausting battle.
So graduation often sparks a feeling of nostalgia. With this, comes reminiscing. I've actually been thinking a lot lately about growing up in the 90's... And I've come to the conclusion that it was the definitely best era to grow up in.
Just think about it, the TV shows alone were fantastic: Boy Meets World, Full House, Saved by the Bell, Fresh Prince of Bell Air, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Dawson's Creek, Wishbone, Recess, Doug, Rugrats, and the list goes on and on. The fluorescently colored outfits (which were so ugly they were cute) worked well with the cheesy music, to produce episodes with semi-serious underlying moral themes... a simply magical combination! Don't you miss the scrunchy, tie dyed t-shirt, overalls look? I sure do.
And then there's the music. Psh, forget about Justin Bieber or the Jonas Brothers, they have nothing compared to *NSync, Back Street Boys, and the Hansen Brothers. And the 90s female pop stars?... Wow! Britney, Christina, Mandy, and Jessica. They don't even need last names. They are all still around even today, which says something compared to our modern flash-in-the-pan artists which stick around for 15 minutes. These girls were triple threats, with great, wholesome entertainment. Okay, sure Britney and Christina had their slutty stages... but that was later on in the 2000s, so it doesn't count.
My all-time favorite thing to come out of the 90's was the Spice Girls. Hands down, my favorite group ever. Two words for you: Girl Power. July 8, 1998 was the night my 9-year old dreams came true; I saw them in concert with my mom. Best. thing. ever. I was obsessed - not only was it my favorite 90s pop music group, but it was my first concert. Although I must admit I had favorites... Posh Spice, aka Victoria Beckham, was by-far the coolest one. I even went so far with my crazed fan loyalty, that when Posh Spice cut her hair in a short bob style, I did too. It wasn't so cute on me...
As I reflect, I realize that while I've grown up (in theory), some things remain the same, which is a reassuring thought; any sort of stability is appreciated in all this post-grad change and craziness. I am still listening to music from all these artists (old and new songs). While the music might have evolved from tape cassettes, to CDs, to mp3 music files, to i-Tunes, the artists are still fantastic and have been able to develop with the changing times.
Whenever a re-run of one of these TV shows airs, I watch it, still completely engrossed and emotionally sucked in to the plot-lines. Will Topanga and Corey reconcile? What sort of trouble will Sabrina get into this time? When will Zack and Kelly finally start dating?
And while the Spice Girls was my first concert ever, I'm still loving my girl Britney. In fact, this summer's Britney Spears concert will be my most recent one, coming up this August....
And yup, I'm going with my mom. Things definitely haven't changed much.
You hear all the warnings before entering college, but you don't ever think that you will actually succumb to such a fate! Or at least, I didn't think so. The idea of "Freshman 15" seemed like a silly myth, almost a rite of passage, before entering university. Well, I unfortunately learned first hand that this is certainly not a myth - I am definitely "softer" than before I went to college... maybe not 15 pounds, but more than I'd like to admit.
I like to think that all the weight gain was attributed to growing up, becoming a real person... but I'm sure the terrible cafeteria food and stress eating during finals week didn't help much. You'd think that with moving home, the weight would just fall off! But, it turns out that being deprived of good food for 4 years is making me eat MORE. Now that I'm exposed to home cooked meals every night, I eat as if I've never tasted real food before in my life; I scarf all that home-cooked deliciousness down.
So while the Freshman 15 is already an unpleasant reality, it is made even worse by today's date. June 21st officially marks the first day of summer. Simply put, this means one thing: bikini season. I swear, I've never heard a more terrifying word than "bikini." Bathing-suit season always seems to sneak up on me, and it's just too much pressure to suddenly be in great shape!
At college I had SO much free time. Honestly, I did. Sure, I had class and studying, but there was so much freedom in my schedule. I had class a maximum of 2-3 hours a day, the library was open 24/7, and gym-time fit perfectly in-between; an ideal life style to be able to devote to my fitness and health. Okay but truthfully, I was too lazy to go most of the time. Epic fail. And now that I'm home and truly motivated to get back in shape, I'm confined by the typical 9-5 schedule with summer classes and internship. What's a girl to do?!
So I have thought of various solutions to get in beach-acceptable shape:
Plan A - Stop eating yummy things.
A wise woman named Kate Moss once said "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." But let's be real, that's SO not true. One word: Ice cream. It's a crime to give up ice cream during summer time. It truly is. You just need it on those hot, lazy, summer days. Sorry Kate, I can't take this advice. I love food wayyy too much!
Plan B - Exercise, and learn to have some self-control for God's sake!
Ugh. Easier said than done. I feel like that's always the advice, but my self-discipline is shot-to-hell whenever there's a plate of delicious food staring at me. I think the best way to approach it, is to not obsess too much over how much you are dieting/exercising. Moderation, moderation, moderation. For me, that's the key. If I go too extreme in either direction (eating too much, and then trying to compensate by eating too little) it never works out.
I've also found that doing FUN activities with friends makes it feel like it isn't exercise. Personally, I love going for long walks. There's a great place near my house that has hiking trails in a forest/woods type of environment which is really nice to explore. I'm supposed to go on this walk tomorrow with a friend, so it's something to look forward to at the end of my long and exhausting work day. Something social and fun, an easy walk is perfect to squeeze into my busy schedule, without it being too daunting or difficult.
So, day one of this plan start NOW. No time like the present! I guess I'll avoid sneaking down stairs and getting that piece of pizza from the fridge that I've been thinking about...
Fear is usually an effective motivator: bikini, bikini, bikini...
So, to get started and introduce myself, I'm the typical 22-year old girl who just graduated from college this past May. The 4-year bubble of college has abruptly burst, and here I am again - back at home. How has this even happened? When I first moved into my freshman dorm it really seemed like this would last forever. Buttt, here I am... everyone says the years fly by, and wow, did they ever!
And yet, the 4 years did occur. I have a mix of mildly-sloppy (and yet still classy) Facebook photos from my entire college career which prove this. Bar-parties, dorm storming, library time - all the proof needed. Thank god I'm a photo-queen and documented everything, or I don't actually think I'd believe it myself.
The good news is that I have finally unpacked all my things. Let me tell you, that's quite a feat. Four years of accumulating stuff, and take into account the fact that I'm a female and a sorority girl, and we've got a problem. I have a whole drawer just devoted to puffy paint. Enough said. So after hours of my futile attempt at organizing everything, I resorted to what every college kid eventually does - giant black trash bags. I'm convinced that Hefty and Glad must see a spike in sales every May/June, just from college kids alone.
Then, once I made the arduous 6 1/2 hour-long car trip back home, the procrastination set in. I think I lived out of these trash bags for a solid two weeks before my mom couldn't stand it any more and basically made me face my reality: I had graduated. Even now this still just feels like summer vacation... a very long vacation with no end in sight, but still, it's a vacation!
So my closet has been filled, clothes all unpacked and placed neatly onto hangers, and the very long vacation has officially started. At home. I was thrown out into the world, and like a boomerang, came flying back to where I started 4 years ago. We'll see how fun this "vacation" will be...
